Community

The intentional community spirit has been flowing like crazy around here. Interpersonal tensions and differing views of what community should look like seem to monopolize our time.

We've taken a few weeks off from a lot of work outside of the Des Moines Catholic Worker, and the reasons for that are apparent. I think it's obvious that a community of people that can't create justice internally cannot possibly work towards justice externally. A divided house cannot stand...isn't that the quote?Plus, logistically, it's hard to plan any actions or events for the outside community when we can't communicate effectively inside the community.

We're trying to make sure that all voices get heard and that everyone feels respected, loved, needed, and important. It's much more difficult to do than it looks, because personality conflicts and different opinions are rampant. However, this is God's work, and this is what we're working towards.

I think. I think this is God's work. He wants us to live together in community, but I'm not yet convinced that that form of "community" isn't simply sharing our lives together, and not really getting into the nitty gritty of one another's lives.

Do you know what I mean? An example--I feel hurt because of a broken relationship with a friend outside of the community. Is that something that my community should be obligated to help me work through...well, I suppose obligated is a bad word, because, one would hope, living in community we would desire to help one another through those things, simply because we care about one another.That's the form of justice and caring I think God ordains.

The easiest type of community, for sure, is one where you just use the same space and are just roommates. I don't think we're going for that...I think we're going for something deeper here.

I'm in a small group through my church, and we're reading "Life Together" by Dietrich Bonhoeffer. This is perfect timing for something like this, because it's so very relevant to my life right now. I'd just like to share with you a few quotes from it:

"Christianity means community through Jesus Christ and in Jesus Christ. No Christian community is more or less than this. Whether it be a brief, single encounter or the daily fellowship of years, Christian community is only this. We belong to one another only through and in Jesus Christ."

I'd never really thought of this place being based in Jesus. I'm not sure that it is, nor that we would consider ourselves a "Christian" community, because it's certainly not a pre-requisite to live here. However, basing ourselves in something concrete seems to be key.

I found this interesting: "A human wish dream for community will shatter it." Bonhoeffer seems to believe that a human vision for community is doomed to failure, because community based in Christ must be ordained, and to a certain extent, facilitated, by God. God has a vision for it, and until we let go of what we desire and let God turn it into what it could be, it won't be what He wants.

However, this makes me question why God gave us the brains and emotions that He did. If we aren't supposed to use our heads to create something beautiful for ourselves, why were we given them?

Last quote: "If we do not give thanks daily for the Christian fellowship in which we have been placed, even when there is no great experience, no discoverable riches, but much weakness, small faith, and difficulty; if on the contrary, we only keep complaining to God that everything is so paltry and petty, so far from what we expected, then we hinder God from letting our fellowship grow according to the measure and riches which are there for us all in Jesus Christ."

This I for sure do not do. I'm sooooo bad at praying and thanking God for the wonderful, amazing, and loving people that I'm blessed to live with every day. It's so easy to forget your blessings, and to forget that you could be living alone in a slum or a suburb, working a 9-5 dead end job and hating your life, but you were blessed enough to meet the most passionate and amazing people in Des Moines, who were willing to let you move into their humble abode in the heart of Des Moines and do the work your heart is called to.

What the hell. Isn't God amazing?

So, I'm going to try to pray about this a bit more. It's crazy, I know, but things always make more sense when I pray about them, and when I stop trying to force something and let God tell me how it is.

All I know is that this is the work of God, and this is what we're called to do, and He never said it'd be easy.